“Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.” - Pablo Picasso
计算机没有什么用处。它们唯一能做的就是告诉你答案。 －－Pablo Picasso
“Distributed file systems are a cruel hoax.” - Zalman Stern
分布式文件系统是一场残忍的骗局。 －－Zalman Stern
“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention
in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila.”
- Mitch Ratcliffe
人类有史以来的所有发明中－－也许不包括手枪或龙舌兰酒－－计算机是让你犯错误最多最快的。
－－Mitch Ratcliffe
“Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things
they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.” - Andy Rooney
计算机使很多事情更容易做到，但其中大部分并不是必需。 －－Andy Rooney
“Computers do not solve problems, they execute solutions” - Laurent
Gasser
计算机并不解决问题，它们只是执行解决方案。 －－Laurent Gasser
“Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can
be tolerated only in race horses and women.” - Lord Kelvin
如果大幅增加费用换来的只是性能可疑的提升，这种情况仅仅出现在赛马和女人身上才是让人可以容忍的。
－－Lord Kelvin
“Memory is like an orgasm. It’s a lot better if you don’t have to fake
it.” - Seymore Cray (on virtual memory)
内存就象性高潮。不作假会好一点。 －－Seymore Cray (对虚拟内存的评价)
“Software Engineering is that part of Computer Science which is too
difficult for the Computer Scientist.” - F. L. Bauer
所谓软件工程就是指计算机科学中对计算机科学家来说太难的那一部分。 －－F.
L. Bauer
“Base eight is just like base ten really, if you’re missing two fingers”
- Tom Lehrer
八进制和十进制其实也差不多，如果你少了两根手指头的话。 －－Tom Lehrer
“There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary
and those that don’t.”
“There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand
trinary, those that don’t, and those that confuse it with binary.”
这个世界上有 10 种人，其中有些是能理解二进制的，有些则不懂。
这个世界上有 10
种人，其中有些是能理解三进制的，有些不懂，有些则把它和二进制弄混淆了。
“If you torture the data enough, it will confess” - Ronald Coase
如果你拷问数据到一定程度，它自然会坦白的。 －－Ronald Coase
“As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error” -
Weisert
据我们所知，我们的计算机还没有未被检验出的错误。 －－Weisert
“If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if
you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.”
如果你交给某人一个程序，你将折磨他一整天；如果你教某人如何编写程序，你将折磨他一辈子。
“Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and
when it is bad, it is better than nothing.” - Dick Brandon
文档就如同“性爱”，当它好的时候，简直美妙得无与伦比；当它糟糕的时候，又糟得一塌糊涂。
－－Dick Brandon
“Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the
rest of your life.” - Michael Sinz
编程就好比“性爱”，一个错误就能让你一辈子不得安宁。 －－Michael Sinz
“Perfection is achieved not when you have nothing more to add, but when
you have nothing left to take away.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
无一分可增不叫完美，无一分可减才是。 －－Antoine de Saint-Exupery
“Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature,
because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the
software engineer.” - Fred Brooks
爱因斯坦经常说必定存在对自然的简单解释，因为“上帝”不（应）是反复无常或独断专行的。软件工程师可没有这样的信念作安慰。
－－Fred Brooks
“Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.” - Dave Platt
管理一堆高级程序员就象放牧一群猫。 －－Dave Platt
“If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.” -
Norm Schryer
倘若代码和注释不一致，那么很可能两者都是错的。 －－Norm Schryer
“If your computer speaks English, it was probably made in Japan.” - Alan
J. Perlis
如果你的计算机说英语，那么它很可能是日本造的。 －－Alan J. Perlis
“/* You are not expected to understand this */” - comment in the
context-switching code of the V6 Unix kernel
这一句比较让人郁闷，还是不翻译出来的好：） －－V6 UNIX kernel的context
switching代码中的注释
“The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance”
- Robert R. Coveyou, Oak Ridge National Laboratory
随机数的产生实在太重要了，不能够让它由偶然性来决定。 －－Robert R.
Coveyou, Oak Ridge National Laboratory
“Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.” - Ralph
Johnson
在软件可重用之前先得可使用。 －－Ralph Johnson
“To err is human, but for a real disaster you need a computer.”
人的过失会带来错误，但要制造真正的灾难还得用计算机。
“Error, keyboard not found - press F1 to continue.” - BIOS system
message
错误，没有发现键盘 － 按 F1 键继续。 －－BIOS系统的提示信息
“When all else fails, read the instructions.” - L. Iasellio
走投无路时再去阅读说明。 －－L. Iasellio
“The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small
children.” - Linus Torvalds
PowerPC的内存管理可以用来吓唬小孩子。 －－Linus Torvalds
“Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.” - Steve Wozniak
永远不要信任那些你无法将其抛出窗外的电脑。 －－Steve Wozniak
“The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree,
is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals.
We cause accidents.” - Nathaniel Borenstein
许多专家认为，导致世界毁灭最可能的原因是意外事件。那正是我们在做的；我们是计算机专业人士，我们正在制造意外事件。
－－Nathaniel Borenstein
“The disadvantage of working over networks is that you can’t so easily
go into someone else’s office and rip their bloody heart out” - Jim
McDonald
将网络引入工作后的缺点是，走进某人的办公室并将他剥皮拆骨远不如以前那么方便了。
－－Jim McDonald
“I invented it, Bill made it famous” - David Bradley (wrote the code for
Ctrl-Alt-Delete on the IBM PC)
我创造了它，比尔则让它声名远扬 －－David Bradley (他在 IBM PC 上写出
Ctrl-Alt-Delete 的相关代码)
“Unix is user-friendly. It’s just very selective about who its friends
are.”
UNIX 是很友好的，只不过它结交朋友时很有选择性。
“Welcome to DALNet! Where the men are men, the women are men, and the
teenage girls are undercover FBI Agents!” - DALNet IRC Welcome Message
欢迎来到
DALNet！在这里“男性”都是男性，“女性”也是男性假扮的，而“十几岁的女孩子”都是
FBI 密探！ －－DALNet IRC 频道的欢迎辞
来源：http://wikiquote.org/wiki/Computers
另：上帝掷骰子吗？ － 量子物理史话似乎在6月22日连载完了。
另2：《爱你就象爱生命》今天入手。当代中国的作家中能够让我嚎啕大哭又开怀大笑的人不多了，骆驼王二是一个，因为他是一个真诚得可爱的人。